The word trauma is used a lot these days, and the reality is, a lot of people don’t understand what this actually means. This has the unfortunate consequence of leading people to get treatment that isn’t actually aligned with their needs.
Let’s explore what trauma actually is, and what that suggest for you!
Trauma has so many different definitions, depending who you ask. Here are a few definitions that we lean on:
3 Definitions of Trauma:
A deeply distressing or disturbing experience that overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope.
This definition, often found in the works of researchers like Bessel van Der Kolk and Judith Herman, states that trauma occurs when an event is so distressing that typical coping mechanisms are insufficient to manage the emotional, psychological or physical impacts of the event.
Having to change your preferred way of responding in order to protect your physical, emotional or psychological wellbeing.
Research likes Peter Levine and Gabor Mate talk about something called trauma adaptation; it’s the idea that we adapt in the face of trauma to survive, but sometimes we do so in ways that don’t serve us in the long run. In this definition, we understand that the experience itself can be traumatic AND the changes to how we cope can also be traumatic in their own right.
Being stuck in a fight/flight/freeze mode and not being able to access a rest/digest mode.
This understand of trauma stems from neurobiological perspectives and leans on our understanding of the nervous system. When trauma happens, our body naturally goes in to a sympathetic nervous system response (fight, flight, freeze and fawn) and trauma can block us from moving back in to a parasympathetic (rest and digest) mode.
Trauma occurs when an event is so distressing that typical coping mechanisms are insufficient to manage the emotional, psychological, or physical impacts.
Impactions for Trauma Healing:
Now that we have a few shared definitions of trauma, let’s explore the implications each definition for your healing
Definition: A deeply distressing or disturbing experience
Implication: Healing involves more than just processing emotions—we need to build coping mechanisms that can help you manage overwhelming situations in the future. Your healing journey might include learning new tools for emotional regulation, and also creating a sense of safety, so you're better prepared to face distressing experiences.
Definition: Changing your preferred way of responding
Implication: When trauma forces you to adapt in ways that no longer serve you, healing involves identifying and gently shifting those responses- but from a place of compassion, knowing these responses are what helped your survive. Therapy may focus on helping you return to your natural ways of coping or learning new responses altogether (especially if your trauma happened during childhood, before you had a chance to learn methods of coping- you can learn more about that here on this post).
Definition: Being stuck in flight/flight/freeze
Implication: Healing here means working with your nervous system to regain balance. This could involve practices that help you move out of a heightened state of alertness and into a calmer, more regulated state. Tools like mindfulness, breath-work, and body-based therapies can be especially effective in restoring that sense of peace and safety in your body.
Healing involves identifying and gently shifting those responses—but from a place of compassion, knowing these responses are what helped you survive.
Common Myths and Misconceptions About Trauma
Myth 1: Trauma only comes from extreme, life-threatening events.
While it’s true that events like war, natural disasters, and abuse can cause trauma, trauma can also stem from less obvious situations—such as chronic stress, childhood neglect, or emotional invalidation. Trauma is subjective, meaning what feels traumatic to one person might not feel that way to another. What matters is how your system responds to the event.
(For an in-depth exploration on this topic, check out our blog post PTSD Isn’t Just About War or Car Crashes: How Everyday Trauma and Your Nervous System Shape PTSD and CPTSD)
Myth 2: If you can’t remember the event clearly, it wasn’t traumatic.
Our brains process trauma differently, and sometimes we may not have a clear, linear memory of the event. That doesn’t mean it wasn’t traumatic. Many people have fragmented memories or feel emotionally disconnected from what happened, but the body can still hold onto the trauma.
Myth 3: Time heals all wounds.
Time alone doesn’t heal trauma. Healing is an active process that often requires intention, support, and therapeutic intervention. Unprocessed trauma can linger and continue to impact your emotional and physical health even after many years.
Myth 4: You just need to talk about it to get over it.
While talking about trauma can be helpful, it's not always the only or best way to heal. Trauma often lives in the body, and healing may require approaches that focus on regulating the nervous system and integrating body-based practices, such as somatic therapy, EMDR or Parts Work Therapy.
If you’re looking for support in healing your trauma in a way that aligns with YOUR needs, we have a team of trauma therapists in Kamloops, BC and online in British Columbia that are ready to help you! Click the button below to get connected with a therapist today.
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